The shark that walked like a man…

He lived in death as he did in life: Not very graciously. Sharks have no business on public transport, especially the New York Subway.

That’s right folks, a dead shark was found on the New York Subway, on one of the trains!

I would imagine this made big news in the USA, after all it’s not every day you come across a killing machine out of its depth (hah see what I did there?).

Poor fool shark. Apparently before its discovery there were complaints of the carriage smelling strongly of ‘fish’ … Really?

Ok, so 1.2 metres (4ft) is not really killing machine size, more like mild tissue scarring and 20 stitches, but the shock would be similar. Questions ask include: What was it doing on the train? How did it get there? Where did it intend to get off? And did it watch Collateral before getting on?

All these questions and more were completely ignored when this picture hit the web:

Several images includng this one started circling the net straight away…

You have to admit it’s pretty funny. The only thing it’s missing is a beanie hat. Now I must stress that as far as the authorities know, the poor animal was already dead at the time of these photos. Needless to say it didn’t stop the train guard evacuating the train and then taking the train directly to the end of the line (apparently this is a popular destination in America) and disposing of it then.

As the BBC News story goes onto say, there have been many animals found on an American subway train, including pigeons and opossums but never a shark. Really, you had to point that out?!

But the interesting thing is, with all the tech the Americans have (yeah I’ve seen Mission Impossible 4) they still have not determined how the shark got to be dead and under a subway seat. Scratch that, they still have not explained how the F*** it got to NYC and climbed out of the sea, and walked/floundered its way past the turn styles and onto a subway train with no one seeing it. Hell maybe they should clone it and put it to work for the CIA/FBI/NSA/CNN…

Anyway, onto the point of this post… This was obviously a poorly misunderstood animal that just wanted to get to Madison Square Gardens to see Aerosmith or some other popular rock band.

And to honour this fallen comrade (sharks like to drink like the best of us after all) I shall share with you some of my favourite shark/fish themed cocktails…

Here they are for your tasting pleasure, but beware as they may lure you out a bit too far and you’ll be out at sea with no way back… (Basically drink responsibly or you’ll be smashed).

1)      Beachcomber

2 measures Light (white) rum

¾ measure Triple sec

¾ measure Lime Juice

2 dashes Maraschino Liqueur

Method:

Shake the ingredients well over ice and serve in a rocks glass filled with crushed ice. Garnish with a cherry and Lime twist.

This cocktail is sometimes known as the Maraschino daiquiri as the recipes are similar, and all though only a small amount is added, the Maraschino liqueur is almost the overriding flavour. Balanced well though this drink is extremely refreshing!

A traditionally exuberant cocktail, the beachcomber is the epitome of a Tiki cocktail…

2)      Aruba Rum Punch

1 measure Light Rum

1 measure Gold Rum

1 measure Dark Rum

2 dashes Angostura Bitters

1 splash Grenadine

1 measure Orange Juice

1 measure Pineapple Juice

2 measures Sour Mix

Method:

Shake all the ingredients together over ice and strain into a hurricane glass. Garnish with a maraschino cherry and orange slice.

A great punch like cocktail perfect for sitting beside the pool.

3)      Caribbean Iced-Tea

1 measure Blue Curacao

1 measure Gin

1 measure Gold Rum

1 measure Tequila

1 measure Vodka

1 measure Sour Mix

Method:

Build over ice in a Hurricane glass, stir well and garnish with an orange slice.

4)      Tiki Zombie

1 measure White Rum

1 measure Gold Rum

1 measure Dark Rum

1 measure Apricot Brandy

1 measure Pineapple Juice

½ measure 151-proof rum

1 measure Lime Juice

Method:

Shake the white, gold and dark rum with the apricot brandy, pineapple juice and lime juice over ice and strain into a Tiki glass. Float the 151-proof rum on top of the drink.

This cocktail is a classic Tiki drink, but must be taken with caution. 151-proof spirits (especially rum) are flammable, so this cocktail should not be consumed around open flames. – Unless you’re Superman… And let’s face it. You’re not!

That classic Tiki cocktail: the zombie

5)      Classic Hurricane

2 measures Light Rum

2 measures Dark Rum

2 measures Passion Fruit Juice

1 measure Orange Juice

Juice of half a lime

1 tablespoon simple syrup

1 tablespoon grenadine

Method:

Squeeze the lime juice into a shaker full of ice. Pour in the remaining ingredients, and shake well. Strain the mixture into a Hurricane glass. Garnish with a Cherry and an orange slice.

Last but by no means least the Tiki Cocktail known as the hurricane…

So the moral to this story is as follows… Drink responsibly. If you don’t you start to think you’re something you’re not. That shark obviously had a little too much to drink and thought he could walk about like a human and get the subway home. It’s a good moral to be aware of: Always drink responsibly or people will take photos of your dead corpse, on a subway train smoking, and drinking – not cool man, not cool.

Anyway until next time drinkers! Adieu.

Here’s a high five for reading…

The BBC News story…

The Shark That Wanted to be Loved…